Hi, I’m back. And I have to say, it feels super weird to write here again haha. It feels like things are coming full circle again. When I started with my ‘’online presence’’ 12 years ago, I started as a fashion blogger. I was 16 back then and I talked about fashion, beauty and other ‘more shallow’ topics. Over the years I started to grow into a completely different person. I got older, I learned more and my interests and purpose began to shift. To this day I still enjoy fashion and beauty rituals, but it’s not where my genuine interest lies.
I started with writing and sharing more about mental health, physical health, personal development and mindset. I’ve always been very open about my own mental health but at one point I didn’t felt like sharing a lot about my own personal journey anymore. That doesn’t mean I stopped working on myself and learning more.
The past years I made a lot of mistakes but that also came with a lot of new learnings. With a lot of personal growth. At some point I actually thought that I had it all figured out. That I completely understood my brain, my mind and that nothing could set me back ever again. Oh oh, what was I wrong haha. I encountered myself BIG time and I also climbed up again BIG time. Today, I don’t believe that I have it all figured out. I actually don’t believe that anyone will have it all figured out ever. You are always moving, which comes with new learnings along the way. We are all collections of behaviors and thoughts. And understanding that, makes it way easier to A) accept yourself and B) better yourself.
However, there is one thing I know for sure now: I will never ever again let life live me. The past year I completely lost track of my mental growth. Upon till a point that I literally felt like that life was taking over me. I had the feeling that everything was thrown at me and I just had to ride with it. I had the feeling that I had no control over my thoughts and over my circumstances. I had very intense sessions to help me throw out a lot of past garbage (had my last session last week, yay!) and I completely changed my approach. For the past 3 months I made one promise to myself and that was prioritizing myself, my happiness and my development Every. Single. Day. That was my only priority and if I had to cancel or do anything to make way for that, I did it. Even if it was taking a day off from work, not going to a family member’s birthday party, or canceling a gym session. I didn’t care. My only priority was getting my brain steady again.
And it worked. This is gonna sound like an extreme statement, but it’s the truth: I feel happier and more content then I have ever felt before. I feel confident, I feel strong and when things are not working in my favor, I won’t let it consume me anymore. When my alarm rings in the morning I literally wake up with a wave of excitement. But from the past, I know that this is not enough. Even though I am healed now, I also know now that this is an ongoing process which I should never ignore again.
So instead of making it a temporary promise, I made it a permanent promise. My mental & physical health will from now on always be my main priority. I don’t care what bridges I need to burn for it, but this will always be the basis of my existence.
In that period I also started writing again. Every day I wrote down everything I felt and thought. But I also started to write down random thoughts again that aren’t really linked to my own journey. That made me realize how much I missed writing and connecting here. Upon till this day I still get messages from random people out there asking me for tips, advice, opinions etc. That’s crazy to me! And now I finally feel like I am at a point in my life where I can give and share again. My own cup is full again and I couldn’t pour from an empty cup.
On a last note, I don’t want you to take any of my words and thoughts personally. I am not a professional and I will never claim to be one. However, I do read and study a lot from scientists and psychologists. I never take things just how they are. I want to get to the bottom of it, know everything about it. I just hope with the knowledge that I gathered throughout the years, some of you will get something out of the things I am about to share here.
I don’t believe in giving someone advice (I will write a piece about that soon), however, I do believe in the art of listening. Hearing things from another perspective can open a door gate inside you to evaluate your own opinions and thoughts. That doesn’t mean you have to agree. Just hear and listen to what other people have to say, and then evaluate your own thoughts and beliefs around a certain topic. I just want to share science based data and my own thoughts and beliefs and hopefully you can use that as a mirror for yourself. All I wish for everybody is to get everything out of life. It’s so special to be here and it would be a shame to waste it on negativity or self limiting beliefs. I know there is so much more for you out there once you start working on yourself!
PS. I am not gonna promise anything on how often I will share here. I will try to share something new a few times a week. Know that you can always send me a DM via @anouktoday or send me an email: info@anouktoday.nl.
Leave a Reply